Grammy's Diarrhea of the Mind

Gotta New House

2007-06-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

Welp, I did it. I'm under contract to buy a house. I close July 31 if everything goes according to plan.

4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 baths, living room, dining room, utility room, huge back yard. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.

Now I've got a LOT of shit to throw out and pack. Ugh. More work. But I'll be so happy when I move in I won't be able to stand it. It'll all be worth it, because it'll be MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I'll even get a weiner dog!

And the Hunt Goes On...

2007-03-19T19:13:00.000-05:00

And the hunt goes on...house hunting beats a rhythm to my braaaaaiiiin...yadda yadda yeee...yadda yadda ya...

Saturday I looked at 3 houses with only 1 possibility out of them, that one being a 4 bedroom rancher with 1 1/2 baths, a teensy weensy kitchen and a formal dining room. Huge backyard which includes a shed and a swingset, which is a huge plus. So is the number of bedrooms. They're not huge bedrooms, which is also fine. I just need a place to stash kids with their significant others and their respective children when they're all home for a visit, so I'm not tripping over sleeping bodies all over the place in the morning. Not to mention I really don't want to be cramped either. That house is on the market for 150k, but I think the sellers might be a tad motivated since they've already bought and moved into a bigger house.

Today I was supposed to look at two, but due to a screw up, one of them was eliminated which was fine because it was really out of my price range anyway. The other one, from the pictures on the website, I was positively salivating over. I mean, brick floors, freestanding gas log fireplace, beautiful yard. I get there and the place is so tiny I can barely turn around. The yard is big, but ya can't put kids and grandkids to bed in the yard in the wintertime...

Sigh. There's one more possibility my realtor is looking into. Rancher, with 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, full, finished, heated basement on 1 acre. Only 95k. Yes you read right. 95k.
It's not in the best town, but there are good areas. She's looking into the area for me, but how bad can it be if it's on an entire acre?

We'll see. I'm not in a big hurry. I did this once before, but that was with my ex. This time I'm doing it all on my own and it's the biggest decision I've ever made. It's the biggest thing I've ever done. I'll wait until the right house comes along.

And in the meantime, the hunt goes on...

The House of My Dreams

2007-03-14T14:09:00.000-05:00

I'm finally buying a house. Since my landlord informed me on January first that he's planning on selling this place in the fall, I decided it was time.

So I started looking on realtor.com and remaxx-nj and I find these two houses I really love. One is brick, and has these beautiful hardwood floors and archways. I eventually decided against it because it's both two big and not big enough, and the area it's in is only a couple blocks from a high crime area.

The other one though, I absolutely fell in love with. It's the right price, it's got 2 bedrooms, a partially finished basement with a fireplace that could serve as extra sleeping room when the kids come and it's well maintained. I ask my realtor for an appointment to see it. Due to realtor.com fucking up, she didn't get my request until monday and promised to get me an appointment. The realtor who's listing it didn't return her call and today I see that it's no longer listed. It's under contract. And I literally wanted to bawl my eyes out.

Now I'm looking again. Found several places to look at, but none that I've fallen in love with like that one. My realtor has promised to get me appointments to see several of them in the next few days.

On the bright side, I got pre-approved for my mortgage and have 90 days to find a place. *sigh*

I also need to start going through the 9 years of accumulated shit in this place and throw a bunch away and start packing up what I can do without for a few months so it's not a hideous rush when I finally find a place and close.

Oh, and today is my niece's 42nd birthday. Not that she's spoken to me in at least 15 years, but happy birthday anyway, Brenda.

Updates to follow...

South Jersey Ignorance

2007-01-30T15:37:00.000-05:00

I can't even friggin' believe how narrow minded, backwards, and fucking ignorant a lot of South Jerseyans are. I can't stand the whole "gay civil unions will destroy society!" bullshit and how some are ignorant enough and aggressively stupid enough to equate homosexuality with pedophilia. Yes, SOME pedophiles are homosexual...however not ALL of them are. To equate the two makes my blood boil as though if you're homosexual, you're automatically a pedophile and gay civil unions is a slippery slope to banning the age of consent and opening the door for pedophiles to marry children! Run away! Run away! Please give me a BREAK! There is a REASON the language "consenting adults" is fucking USED, people! GROW THE FUCK UP!

Also, an incident happened back in November in a town neighboring the one I lived in most of the time I've been in New Jersey. The incident included a cop stopping a Mexican and searching him without cause, finding a BUTTER KNIFE (omg! he'll beHEAD someone with that!), putting him in the patrol SUV, stopping a drunk driver and when he realized the drunk driver was a relative of a fellow police officer, DROVE HIM TO THE NEAREST BAR AND DROPPED HIM OFF! Then he took the Mexican to a park and beat the shit out of him, stole his money and his cell phone and left him there to die.

This cop also happens to be an ex-relative-in-law. This kid spent the night at my house many times, ate at my dinner table and I babysat the brat when he had the chicken pox. He's been a bully since he was 3 years old which is when I first met him. He ratted out his own cousin so he could get his gun and be a real cop.

That whole issue pisses me off no end, but what REALLY is pissing me off about this whole thing is people are MORE concerned about whether or not the Mexican is here legally than they are about a RENEGADE COP going around beating the shit out of people! There's no question the cop did it. His partner, who witnessed the entire thing, but who did not participate, is testifying against him in return for a 3-year prison sentence for "Official Misconduct". Not to mention that I KNOW he did it because that's the kind of person he IS. He's a bigot and a bully and always has been. The reason he became a cop in the first place is so he could legally bully people and do it with a gun. Not only did this hideous cop ruin the Mexican's life and his own career (not to mention the lives of his wife and son), but he also ruined the career and life of his partner. But LET'S MAKE SURE THE CHUKO WAS HERE LEGALLY BEFORE WE PROSECUTE! Thank goodness the District Attorney's office has an actual brain and is prosecuting regardless of the stance of the ignorant trailer park trash that makes up most of that particular tri-city area. The Mexican has retained a lawyer and is suing the police department of the involved city for racial profiling, not training their cops and a bunch of other shit. I hope he WINS. Legal or NOT.

Can you tell I'm in a really bad mood? I haven't been feeling well for a week and this crap is just making me feel worse.

The Land - Part VII, sort of

2007-01-10T17:12:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, I haven't posted since August. I've been busy!

Anyway, we received the deed to the small parcel of land and the Title Insurance Policy for the larger parcel sometime in October or November, I really don't remember. Apparently the evil bitch can't find the deed to the larger parcel "yet". SNORT.

Today I received another package. I figured it was just more junk that she wanted to get rid of, and yes, I was pissed. Why should I have to deal with all the shit she doesn't want in her house anymore?

Surprisingly, this package contained some stuff that I remember well from my childhood and I will lovingly keep. Some of it will go to my oldest son who was very close to my mother.

HOWEVER!

She ALSO included a framed obituary for my mom, all the portraits she had of my mom, dad and grandparents, AND a 5x7 of my deceased sister's senior picture. (Yes, I almost started bawling when I saw that one.)

I can only conclude one of three things: She's either gone completely off the deep end and now hates my mom too since she apparently wants nothing of my mom's in her house, she's planning to commit suicide and is getting rid of all the family stuff ahead of time since she doesn't have any kids to leave anything to, or she's dying of some horrible disease and is getting rid of all the family stuff ahead of time because she doesn't have any kids to leave anything to.

I really really really REALLY can't wait until this land is sold so I can finally have nothing at all to do with anyone in my family except for my kids and their families. My parents are gone. They were my rocks. My sister is gone. She was the only other member of the family I could get along with (and man we had some fun!) as long as we lived 3000 miles apart and only saw eachother every few years. The evil bitch sister is out of my life in everyway except for this land business. I have made it clear to my brother that email is the only option for us to keep in touch. He doesn't know it, but I can barely stand him either and once the land is sold out he goes too. I haven't heard from my niece or nephew in at least 15 years if not longer, so they're out too.

Lots more stuff has happened. I have to move by the fall (NOT happy about that), doc changed my meds which really helped me and made me have an almost life.

Met my 4th chat person for lunch last week (and the 1st in over 10 years) and it was a blast! We spent so long outside smoking and talking the waitress cleared our table and reset it! It was a lot of fun though. Maybe we'll do it again some time.

The Land - Part VI: Another Brief Update

2006-08-23T16:05:00.000-05:00

A certified letter was sent to the evil vile bitch sister asking if there are deeds or titles to the parcels (since there were none in the packets my bro and I received)

Another brief update to come when the reply to that letter is received...

The New Furniture!!!

2006-08-22T15:59:00.000-05:00

Here's the pics of the new furniture!!! Yes! I'm bragging!!!

Busy Busy Busy!

2006-08-05T14:15:00.000-05:00

What a busy month July was! I had to work through the Government "shut down" which was nice at the time, thinking I wouldn't be losing any money. However, once everyone got back to work and things settled down, we found out that those "non-essential" employees who were told not to come to work for a week would be getting paid ANYway! I mean, I'm truly glad they didn't lose any money, but sheesh! they got a free week off! What did we get? "Time and a half pay or time and a half comp-time for the 4th of July" ONLY. Sheesh...what a rip-off.

Next, my youngest son decided to come home for good. Oy. At least that only lasted one week. "I just can't do it Mom, I gotta go back". I'm sure he didn't see me wiping my brow and muttering "whew! That was CLOSE!" *snicker*

There was also the fiasco in chat with koreanladysf whatever getting pissed off at the room, but one person in particular and claiming he was a pedophile, that I am not only indian, but also white trash and a minor She then claimed that two other chatters were the same person. Oy! I haven't seen her lately, but I've heard she changed her name. Too funny.

I can't think of anything else that's been going on. I'll write again when I can think of something!

A Comcast Technician Sleeping on my Couch

2006-07-02T14:14:00.000-05:00

I had to put this one here. It's just too funny! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvVp7b5gzqU&search=comcast

Jul-1-06 Governor Corzine Signs Executive Order for Orderly Shutdown of Government Operations

2006-07-01T14:24:00.000-05:00

TRENTON - Governor Jon S. Corzine today signed an Executive Order to immediately begin the orderly shutdown of non-essential state government functions. This step was taken after the midnight constitutional deadline for enacting a balanced budget passed.
Executive Order 17, which was signed mid-morning at the State House, is required because the state constitution does not allow the state to draw money from the Treasury in the absence of an appropriations act.
“For the past 102 days, my staff and I have met extensively with the citizens of our state, with representatives from countless constituent groups, and intensively for many weeks with my colleagues in the legislature,” said Governor Corzine. “We have worked toward one goal - ending the fiscal games, gimmicks and mounting debt and, instead, securing the future for our children by restoring honesty and accountability to our state’s budget. So far, our efforts have not resulted in the sort of responsible financial plan that the public has every right to expect from us. We have taken every reasonable and responsible measure to ensure that this day wouldn’t come.”
The Governor of New Jersey has the authority under the Disaster Control Act to issue the Executive Order in order to deal with the emergency that occurs when the state fails to meet its constitutional obligation of a balanced budget. The order requires a limited number of state employees to report to work to provide essential services, to provide for the delivery of essential goods and services, and to provide for the orderly shutdown of non-essential services.
Governor Corzine emphasized that essential services will be provided. Those include facilities and personnel involved in providing for the health, safety, and welfare of the state’s population, as well as the protection of property. Agencies such as the State Police, the Division of Youth and Family Services, the Department of Corrections, and substantial parts of the Department of Human Services will continue to operate.
The Governor said the government shutdown allows adequate time to close down non-essential operations in a safe and orderly fashion. About 45,000 state employees across 31 departments, agencies and authorities will be furloughed. The state’s website (http://www.state.nj.us/) will provide further information for state workers.
State parks, beaches and campgrounds would not be closed before July 5. Casinos would close under the Executive Order. Litigation is pending on that matter.
“It’s time to get our house in order, and I look forward to working with my partners in the legislature in the hours and days ahead, until we have done precisely that,” said Governor Corzine.

This is royally pissing me off. First of all, I had a scheduled vacation day for Monday since Tuesday is a holiday. My vacation is effectively canceled since if I don't show up for work, I won't get paid and will forfeit my "essential" status. And secondly, if there's still no budget on Tuesday, guess what? The Independence Day holiday is ALSO canceled for me.

But what's really pissing me off is the REASON for this ridiculous impasse. The Governor wants to institute a 1% increase in the sales tax from 6% to 7% to ease the 4.5 billion dollar budget deficit. This solution is the best one, it seems to me. It has the lowest impact on everyone and will take care of the deficit. But for whatever political (and i do emphasize political) reasons, enough legislators don't want this to happen that we now have a budget impasse. And here it is, 3:26 PM on July 1 with no budget. Those ridiculously political legislators think cutting the pay of state employees by 10-15% is a good idea...err hello? Let's start with YOUR salary first, 'mkay? Losing 10-15% of my salary would financially devestate me, and I don't even want to THINK about those who are at the total bottom of the financial totem pole. That "solution" would put some people on the streets. Talk about the working poor. They've also proposed increasing property taxes. Errrr...are you guys insane? Too many people now pay high property taxes which go to fund schools for which these people have no children enrolled. I guess Corzine's just STUPID for proposing an actual REASONABLE solution to the budget deficit. Pardon him for being INTELLIGENT...sheesh. I'm not a happy camper about this. I'm gonna find out exactly which legislators are causing this impasse by opposing the increase in the sales tax and start a campaign to ensure that they do NOT get re-elected.

The State of New Jersey already has a bad enough reputation in the entire country. Can we make a little worse boys? "Let's try! I know! we'll cause a budget impasse just to piss off everyone who works for the State! Not to mention those who patronize casinos, because THEY'LL have to be shut down too! WOOHOO! We can REALLY look like a bunch of gonzos and make our reputation throughout the country even WORSE!"

Can you say MORON?

Allergies, Doors and Tweezers

2006-06-10T15:32:00.000-05:00

What a weird day yesterday was. I woke up with a slight sinus headache, that gradually got worse as the day wore on. By last night it was so bad I was having trouble forming thoughts. And I worked through all of this.

To make matters worse, the old IBS kicked in while I was in Rel1. Ok fine. I'll just go to the bathroom, right? Yeah right. My mistake was closing the door. Now I know this door is broken. It's been broken for a long time. The knob is about falling off. I'm not stupid, I can fix doorknobs and have done so on many occasions. The screw holes on this one, however, are stripped, so it will not tighten. Yes, I know it needs to be fixed, but I'm lazy about such things and an habitual procrastinator.

So I close the door and immediately think "You stupid bitch! FUCK!!!" Well, there's nothing I can do about it at this moment, so I might as well use the bathroom and use the time to think about how I'm going to get out of here.

Nothing comes to mind. I'm locked in the bathroom with no phone to call for help, and even if I had a phone in there, no one can get into the house because the front door's locked.

I begin to slightly panic, thinking I'll never be able to get out of here, and my next thought is "Well, at least I've got plenty of reading material in here" So I'm yanking on the door, turning the knob uselessly all the while. It suddenly hits me that I can take the hinges off the door if worse comes to worse.

Now I'm looking for something to pry the door open with, or jimmy the little thing that comes out of the knob and goes into the catch on the door frame. AHA! scissors! Try sliding one of the scissors blades in there and yank it up to push the thing in...nope. Ok. The knob is falling off. Maybe I can just yank it off. Nope. Ok, the inside mechanism is exposed, maybe I can force it to turn somehow. TWEEZERS!

I've now been in the bathroom for at least 10 minutes, and I'm sure Brill is wondering what the hell happened to me. Now the phone is ringing and I'm thinking "Shit! it's Brill! and when I don't answer he's gonna get worried about me!" Frantically I begin pushing on the mechanism with the tweezers and FINALLY voilá! The mechanism turns and the door opens. I rush to the phone to see on the caller ID "Unknown Caller". Well at least it got me out of the bathroom.

And Brill hardly acknowledged my return

Kids 'n Stuff

2006-06-05T15:25:00.000-05:00

Most of the few readers of my blog know that my youngest son left for a week to nurse his girlfriend through her surgery 9 weeks ago and never came home.

So Saturday afternoon I wake up from my usual nap, around 2:30 to a message on my answering machine saying he's on his way home. He arrived, with his girlfriend, at about 4:30 and stayed until 10:00 AM Sunday.

For most of you this wouldn't be worth blogging about. For me? Heh...My entire life has to be well planned, organized and routine-ized, otherwise my body goes into fits and screams "I HATE YOU YOU BITCH!!!!!" So of course, Saturday night, with all the ruckus (two of his cousins come waltzing in at 10:00 PM), I didn't sleep well. Got maybe 4 hours. And since I wasn't expecting him home, I didn't get anything done that needed doing before going back to work on Monday. So I'm forced to take a nap Sunday, just so I can recharge the batteries enough to have clean clothes and no dishes in the sink on Monday morning. The nap, of course, screws up my sleep pattern for Sunday night and I end up not sleeping well AGAIN, and wake up with a sinus headache on top of it all.

I then get to work on Monday morning and almost immediately am blitzed by the CEO and Executive Assistant begging for reports (that they could EASILY PRINT THEMSELVES) because the State Health inspectors have finally (after our facility waiting for 2 months for them) show up. Oy. I'm worn out.

People need to realize what having CFIDS means. Read up on it. Don't do this to me. You're all killing me!!!!!!!!!

PS. Grammy's Diarrhea of the Mind has become Grammy's Bitch Board

The Land - Part V: A Brief Update

2006-06-03T06:40:00.001-05:00

Got email from my brother this morning. He hasn't had time to even think about The Land because there's an infestation of brown recluse spiders at his church and they're packing everything up to have it gassed. Gawd's Revenge? *snicker*

The Land - Part IV

2006-05-28T17:17:00.000-05:00

Update: My brother has accepted the job as Executor of my father's will. Updates will follow.

I want this land sold. I want to buy a house since I'm sick of renting after 8 years of doing it. The only thing is it's a pain in the ass and having the energy to do all that is necessary to find a house and then get into it is a dubious proposition at best. I'm gonna need lots of help with this.

On the bright side, I actually cleaned my tub this weekend! I bought the Mr. Clean Magic Reach because I have such difficulty kneeling to perform that task and having so little physical strength, it takes a very long time to get it done, and then I literally have to take a nap. But with the Mr. Clean Magic Reach, I did half the job standing up and the other half sitting on the toilet (with the lid closed, smart asses) and it only took 5 minutes!

I also cleaned the tea stain from the carpet in my car and did a bunch of other stuff...it's been a really good productive weekend so far, one of my best in a very long time.

The Land - Part III

2006-05-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

I haven't written anything lately, because there was really nothing to report. I've been lazy about everything lately, really just not feeling well. I haven't been to a lawyer, or even sent a certified letter to my sister, because I just haven't felt like dealing with any of it.

The next part of this, is fairly weird. I've been thinking a lot about the issue lately because I'm still getting "trinkets" sent from my sister via my brother, the latest box containing all my mother and grandmother's costume jewelry, and had actually determined that I was going to send the certified letter this weekend.

This morning, I took a nap and had a very strange and awful dream about my mother and this particular sister. And I hadn't been up maybe 10 minutes when there was a very loud knock on my door. It was the mailman with a certified packet for me from my sister.

The packet contained a two-page type-written letter from her divesting herself of the duties and responsibilities of being Executrix of my father's will and handing that responsibility over to me and my brother, the latest tax bills on all 3 parcels (two in nevada, one in new mexico), my parents' marriage certificate, divorce decree, my father's and step-mother's marriage certificate and my father's death certificate and his will.

Needless to say, once I read all of that my head was spinning (and it still is actually), so I emailed my brother (who allegedly also received this same packet, according to the letter from my sister anyway), and pleaded with him to take over the responsibility of this mess. I have neither the energy, nor the mental clarity at this point to deal with it.

I'll update this as soon as I hear from him.

Heirlooms and Other Junk

2006-04-14T17:23:00.000-05:00

No news on "The Land" yet, but it's only been 9 days since I actually mailed the letter, so I don't really expect anything yet.

However, my brother has been sending me all these "treasures" that were my mom and dad's. I got the antique branding Iron that's about 200 years old, from an uncle i'd never heard of before about 15 years ago. And my maternal grandfather's shoe last. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a big piece of cast iron (that my mom always called a door stop) with two pieces that are in the shape of the sole of a shoe. The shoemaker would place one of these pieces inside the shoe, and have a firm surface on which to work. This piece is antique too. There was also a block of marble that apparently my paternal grandfather carved into a soap dish and carved my grandmother's name on. There were also some antique dishes: salad plates and cups and saucers that never belonged to anyone in my family. Apparently my brother gave them to my sister at some point and since she's gone insane, she's sending back everything he ever gave her apparently.

I'm gonna hafta figure out how to sell stuff on ebay I guess, because not only do I have no room for stuff that wasn't even my parents', I don't want stuff that was my sister's, not to mention all the old hymnals and stuff that were my mom's that I obviously have no use for. Who knows? Maybe I'll get enough money outta this stuff for a down payment on a house!

The Land - Part II

2006-04-03T14:43:00.000-05:00

Ok , so I get no answer to my email. The snail mail letter has been written and will be put in the mail tomorrow morning. We'll see what evil lurks in the mind of my sister should she decide to actually respond to the letter. I'm giving her 4 weeks from tomorrow to respond. If I get no response, I'll go to a lawyer and see what we can just do about this.

Updates to follow!

The Land

2006-03-27T17:39:00.000-05:00

Ok, so the email has been sent to my sister nicely requesting an accounting of the land my father left us in his will when he died 26 years ago. If I get no response to that email within a week, I'll follow it up with a letter via snail mail. I'll give her a month after that (in case she like...actually wants to check into the value, etc., before replying) and then I go to a lawyer. My brother is in agreement. Soon I'll be RICH! heh.

Updates to follow.

Why I Stay Away From My Family

2006-03-11T20:01:00.000-05:00

So Judy's blog gives me this idea. I haven't been able to think of anything to post lately, however, since I received an email from my brother, to be followed by a letter forwarded by him snailmail from my sister, i thought voilá! a post!

There's history here. My entire family are fundamentalist Christians. The only one in my family I have any contact at all with is my brother who also happens to be a Methodist minister (he'd be Southern Baptist like the rest of the family, but the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) doesn't allow divorced men to be ordained ministers, and since he's been married 4 times...well...). Anyway, none of my family know that I'm an atheist, even my brother, though I think he may suspect something. My parents are both gone and one of my sisters is gone, so it's really just me, my brother and my other sister who is the most evil, vile person on the face of the earth. She did things to me when I was a very small child I won't go into. Things I actually forgave her for, but when she turned on me when my ex-husband and I split up after 17 1/2 years, that was the last straw and I unforgave her and haven't spoken to her since my mother died 8 1/2 years ago.

So my brother emails me and says he got this letter from her and he was forwarding it on to me. That she gathered up all the things she took when my mother died, (as he said, mostly trinkets) and packed them all up and was shipping them to him since we have people to leave the stuff to and she doesn't (the only child she ever had, she gave up for adoption 37 years ago).

So last week, I get this letter in the mail forwarded by him from her. She says in part

"I haven't known where Rara is for 10 years, so I'm sending everything to you and the two of you have the final say - I want nothing, so keep the things, pass them down to your kids, donate them to friends or charity, or throw them away - whatever...Anyway, I want nothing back and I don't need an accounting of what you do with them - if you don't tell Rara, I don't care."

First of all, she hasn't known where I am for 7 1/2 years, not 10. And secondly, there are reasons I want nothing to do with her and she very well knows what they are. This is the woman who refused to speak to me for a year because I wouldn't disrupt my children's school and baseball schedule to spend a vacation with her and her husband.

The things she has done to me in my life are so many and some, so unspeakable, that I honestly don't care to ever see her or hear about her again. She's a bitter old woman who has no one to blame but herself for the way people treat her.

The absolute nerve and blindness of some people constantly amazes me. I have spent the last 10 years distancing myself from my family for a REASON. HELLO you utter morons! YOU ARE NOT GOOD FOR ME! YOU ARE POISON TO ME! PLEASE GO AWAY! Jesus.

I don't know why people are so intent on family relationships when they are so often NOT good for you. I would venture to say that a good 95% of households in the USA today are dysfunctional at least to some degree, and in my family it was unreal how dysfunctional.

As I said to my brother in my email reply to him "Just because people share the same blood, doesn't mean they have to have a relationship. She is poison to me." yadda yadda.

The only interest I have in her at all, is that she is the Executrix of my father's will and still has control of the land he left us. I'm seriously thinking about getting a lawyer and forcing her to give us at least an accounting of it, and ultimately to sell it and split the proceeds. After that, I want absolutely nothing more to do with her. Not to mention her sick husband who I haven't been able to stand since I was 17 years old and he made a pass at me and then apologized saying he had been resisting the temptation "for the last 6 years". ERRR HELLO. That would have made me 11 YEARS OLD when he started "resisting the temptation."

Writing all this down is cathartic, but on the other hand, even thinking about all this shit makes me literally sick to my stomach. I'ma go take a Zantac.

2006-03-08T20:08:00.000-05:00

Ok I figured i should post something here so this thing doesn't die. I just haven't been able to think of anything to write lately considering I've been half dead for the last week or so. I won't go into my various health maladies here, just suffice it to say, i'm no longer taking one drug and am now taking an antibiotic . I could write a book just about the drugs I have to take everyday, but it would be boring, so I won't.

I like smileys. They're cute without being "cutesy" (which I hate). They're funny sometimes too. Like this one . And one more thing I must say about this post, and I can wrap it all up in one smiley

Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dysfunction Syndrome

2006-02-28T08:04:00.000-05:00

I really should say more here about CFIDS since I've got a link on the blog. Rather than go into the tedious details, I'll just say that Chronic Fatigue and Immune Dynsfunction Syndrome sucks. It's a disease that affects mostly adult women, though adult men and children of both sexes are also affected. Most people don't know anything about it, and if they do, it's usually "Oh that yuppie flu thing." The most common reaction of the general public, doctors included, has been compared to that of the reaction to Multiple Sclerosis when it first reared it's ugly head: "Hysterical paralysis" is what they said about MS. About CFIDS they say "depression" or "just get off your ass and get busy...that's how to cure it." They found out they were wrong about both MS and CFIDS. I just came from their site and saw a new booklet they've published on the most recent research into the cause and treatments. I ordered one for myself and also one for my doctor. The cost was $12.00 plus $3.00 for shipping. It's worth it to me. I also noticed something else on their site that I think would benefit everyone. They have a link on their site to a site called igive.com http://www.igive.com. "The iGive shopping mall has grown to over 400 participating merchants including; Walmart.com, Hallmark.com, H&R Block and Babycenter.com. Time to get started! Begin by logging on to http://www.igive.com/ and join – choose" your favorite charity "then go shopping. That’s it!" A percentage of your total purchase will be donated to the charity of your choice. I think this is great.I joined and chose CFIDS Association of America as my charity. When you join, they give you the choice of giving anonymously, or openly and receiving a tax deduction. And we can all use more tax deductions!

And Speaking of People Going Insane...

2006-02-26T12:02:00.000-05:00

I honestly do not understand why people let things said or done in a chatroom get under their skin so badly that they leave. Not that the one leaving is the insane one. It's whoever's doing the sneaky and underhanded things behind the scenes to "get" to whoever it is they find annoying. I mean, come on people! It's a CHATROOM for gawd's sake! I hate to see anyone leave a room because some insane moron is harrassing them to the point they feel the need to leave. The harrasser is the insane one, the one who should leave. The person who's leaving, (I won't name names here, I don't know who all reads this), to my knowledge, has never done anything to warrant such treatment. Sure, they're mouthy and outspoken, but sheesh, so am I. If I find out who's doing this sneaky underhanded stuff, they are going to feel the wrath of "Ra" (and for you FBI guys out there spying on me, that refers only to my incredible eloquence and verbiage). This Religion 1/AvC flame war has gone far enough. It's childish, immature and stupid. Although I am a refugee of AvC, I have come to consider Religion 1 my chat home and I won't STAND FOR IT do you HEAR ME???? *snicker* But seriously, I mean it. It's stupid and needs to stop.

Mostly Inane Blather

2006-02-24T20:00:00.000-05:00

Ok...so I haven't been so great about posting since I started this. But I can't seem to find the time when i have to work.

I'm feeling really "icky" today...uneasy, annoyed, bleh. I really hate it when seemingly sane, intelligent, reasonable people go off the deep end right before my eyes and do things that make me not like them for the moment. The next day, week, or month they'll be "normal" again. I don't like my emotions toyed with that way. I don't often allow people to get close enough to be able to do that, so when I do, and they go nuts, it makes me want to back away from people even more. I like animals other than humans a lot more than I like humans. Humans tend to either suck the life out of you, or screw with your head so much that you want to get as far away from them as is physically and emotionally possible to. And people wonder why I never leave the house. Could it be the humans out there? Blech. You can have 'em.

Why We Laugh

2006-02-18T19:25:00.000-05:00

Why do we laugh at some things and find others "taboo"? I can find humor in almost every situation, or event. Some people find this absolutely reprehensible. But if a quadriplegic with CP can laugh at their own disadvantages, why shouldn't we be able to find the humor?

Being able to find the humor, even in the most horrible of events or situations, is what keeps us sane. My personal take on the matter is "I can either laugh or cry. I choose to laugh." Finding the humor isn't laughing at someone, or making fun of someone, and isn't done to cause another pain or make light of their despair. It is merely to release our own frustrations at the awful situation.

Laughter is healthy. Any medical journal will show that, and stress is not healthy, as any medical journal will show as well.

I say let's be healthy and laugh.

Changes

2006-02-17T20:43:00.000-05:00

So, here I am. I finally made a blog. How frequent my posts will be remains to be seen. I have a propensity to start things off with a bang only to see them fizzle out and then die. We'll see.

So my youngest child is moving out soon. I think I'm supposed to feel some sort of empty nest syndrome or something, but frankly, I can't wait. There's nothing wrong with him. He's a good kid and we get along very well. But...come on, he's 23. I'm ready for the change this will bring. I'm ready to live alone.

And the MONEY I'll save! omg! I've already calculated I'll save at least $300 a month!

So. Comments are welcome, of most kinds anyway. But if you've clicked on this blog expecting anything other than irrelevant blather, you're gonna be disappointed.

Let the games begin!